So I had an issue a week or so ago in school. Admit it or not, we as teachers have favorites. It’s inevitable. I always tell my students everyone is my favorite for different reasons (My favorite to talk nails with, favorite to talk exercise, favorite to read their writings, favorite to remind to do their work, favorite to mark as late, favorite to utilize incremental discipline…), and while that is true, there are a few students who take a piece of my heart forever and always.
So it is one of my heart-owners who is the focus of this tale. According to this student, they were wrongly accused of something, a “wrong place wrong time” scenario to the max. And it sucks. This kid is trying to turn over a new leaf, I KNOW they are working and attempting to correct the wrongs of the past, but it still sucks. This kid has a bad image, and it’s hard to shake after years of fitting the bill. This kid was angry at the accusations, and whether admin was right or wrong in making them, I am proud of this student in that they did not escalate the situation, where they previously would have.
What do you tell this student? All the clichés: Don’t judge a book by its cover, Don’t stereotype… they all rushed through my head as items to yell at admin later on, and how they dare to accuse this student. But, I cannot control their actions and thoughts any more than I can control those of one of my favorite students. A student’s past behavior sadly defines them, and even though they are fighting the good fight to recreate their reputation, it is a damn hard battle to fight. So, again, what does this student need to hear? I decided to issue praise for not retaliating, as that shows immense growth, and I stated that it is a rough road ahead. This student is under a microscope now more than ever. Even being on the straight and narrow, people are suspicious of them, thinking they just got sneakier. For the rest of their educational career, one mess up could mean the entirety of “unsolved mysteries” of the school could come raining down on this student.
Is it fair? Is it right? Just? I don’t know; all I do know is that it is reality. And that is a tough pill to follow, as are the majority of idioms and clichés I threw into this post. All I do know is: how can we expect our students to do better if we are not able to? How can students give second chances if we as adults cannot do it? How can students look into people’s heart and soul and not judge if they do not have proper modeling?